For the seniors at the College, these last few weeks of school are undoubtedly a mix of bittersweet nostalgia and much-deserved relief; or perhaps more truthfully, a whirlwind of binge drinking and senioritis. In any case, it is certainly a time of reflection. News-wise, this semester's headlines have been dominated by a weird breadth of subjects: the Wawagate scandal of former SA President Zach Pilchen ('09), the sexual tag team of SWAS and the Century Project, the long-running argument over the three-person rule, the hiring freeze and tuition raise, and most recently, the tasing and assault of various students.
So for sleepy Williamsburg, a bedrock of slow news, it has been a relatively successful year for juicy stories even with the sudden demise of JuicyCampus. With this in mind, we are confident that next year's stories could increase in violent and sexual content by at least 1000%. And by 2025 (provided that the world does not end in 2012 as the Mayans, Mel Gibson and Lil' Wayne believe), it is most likely that Colonial Williamsburg could become a true bloodbath/orgy of great news stories. Our following predictions, based off consultations with the former Monica's Palm Readers of Richmond Road, are as follows:
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