The Virginia Informer

Last Updated:4/30/09 Section: Features

Danny Michel

Kirk Vernegaard

Anonymous

"In the wee morning hours of blowout I stole 6 fire extinguishers from Chandler, sprayed them all over the Crim Dell, and then woke up 4 hours later to drink. I stumbled upon the ecological disaster I had created on my way to class, and fumbled some words as a fire marshal ordered me to step away from the 'crime scene'. I then proceeded to my econ class in Millington 101, where I tripped in the aisle and fell down the theatre style lecture hall onto four angry AXO's. They were not happy. After attending a twenty person lecture class that I didn't belong to, I relapsed into drinking again, this time on the benches in front of Swem. I woke up ten hours later, all alone on the benches. Blowout was a success."
- Anonymous, '11
"My inebriated friend, upon deciding that the Sunken Garden food line was too long, began eating grass while on all fours. We didn't really get it until she started mooing. I'd say she grazed for about thirty minutes. We thought it was really funny until she started throwing it up everywhere."
- Danny Michel, '11
"We had heard that Professor blank blank 101 class was THE Blowout class to attend, so we tagged along with some of our friends to see what shenanigans were in place. The class amounted to seniors drinking forties in the back, raising their hands and telling Professor blank how much they liked him. Some guy had a case of Keystone on his desk, and pulled a beer can out. I couldn't imagine what he was going to do with it, until he ran down to the front, cracked it open, and placed it in front of Professor blank. The guy seemed pretty amused with himself, and just stood there for a while until some of his friends led him back to his seat."
- Kirk Vernegaard, '10

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